Diamond Rugs: “Country Mile”

Exhibit A: The diamond. Luxurious, eternal, and effervescent. Exhibit B: The rug. Coarse fabric to wipe dirt off shoes. Alas, I present you the quasi-fictional, unlikely tale of how the diamond met the rug…

Los lobos walk into a bar. They grab stools next to a dead confederate, who is dead and therefore says nothing. The wolves examine the dead man closely: “He’s got black lips, a deer tick on his neck, and a six finger satellite-shaped hand!”

And just like that, the wolves and the dead man formed a ba—OK, OK, the real story:

John McCauley of nitty-gritty Deer Tick, who has a slick reputation for collaborations, is the seed to the fast-sprouting, man-eating flower in Diamond Rugs. One fine evening in Nashville, Tennessee, McCauley stumbled into the legendary saxophonist/keyboard player/percussionist, Steve Berlin, at the Los Lobos concert. Boom — collaboration. Another fine evening, McCauley thought, “I also want four other blockbuster musicians in this band.” And so he pulled in fellow Deer Tick member Robbie Crowell, Ian Saint Pé of the Black Lips, Hardy Morris of Dead Confederate, and Bryan Dufresne of Six Finger Satellite. See what I was trying to do with my fictional tale?

Together, these six gentlemen created the self-titled album, Diamond Rugs, on Partisan Records. With hardly any preparation, the album was recorded in 10 days. The result? A rowdy-in-your-face-stuck-up-bad-ass-wild-raunchy-sexy-frickin-awesome-ROCK-N-ROLL album.

The featured song, “Country Mile,” introduces 5,280 feet to elasticity. Like a slinky, the song gets tangled up in its own circular path. Don’t call it an imperfection; a slinky never lacks amusement. “Country Mile” is a fantastic starting point on the album.

Listen to “Blue Mountains” next. The loaded pace is approachable. The “duh-duh-duh’s” are delightful. Conversely, the conversational singing is incredibly awkward — so damn awkward that you’ll love it. It’s like that tall, goofy, uncoordinated friend of yours whose presence eases the room’s vibes. Everyone loves that guy.

Due to a fascinating live-performance impression I got from “Call Girl Blues,” I consider that my favorite track on the album. As soon as the trombone and saxophone belted out their first roar, the crowd started dancing. Mid-twist, I broke out a goofy, uncontainable smile. The song, more so than other tracks on the record, produces harmony and accord with all the diverse band members.

If you are an immature weirdo like me, you’ll have the most fun with “Hungover and Horny” or “Christmas in a Chinese Restaurant.” If you don’t buy this album, Diamond Rugs will personally dart the CD at your face. It happened not once but twice to the Earthy lady with armpit hair standing next to me at the concert.